Thursday, July 10, 2008

What If Giambalco Had Grown a Beard?

It's really laughable to pick up the newspapers here in New York and see the incredible fuss they are making about the mustache that Jason (Roid Boy) Giambi grew recently.

I guess someone in the Yankees front office gave The Man Who Said He Was Sorry But Couldn't Tell Us Why permission to break team rules and grow a stache. It seems like every day, in addition to the usual stories about Slappy and his bimbos, we have to have some story about how the Yankees are back in the AL East race because Giambalco is such a rebel and has hair above his upper lip. And yesterday at the Palace of Baseball (yeah right, if it really is how come they are tearing it down?) they had "Fake Mustache Day."

Pass the vomit bag.

It shows how corporate and stuffed shirt the Yankees had become that when one player grows a mustache, the fans take to it, and it becomes some kind of rallying cry. The Red Sox have all kinds of players with all kinds of facial hair: Big Papi, Manny, Youk (pictured, with his bigtime goatee), Mike Lowell, Dice-K, Tek, etc. I don't think any of us in Red Sox Nation have to hold a day for every player who wears facial hair.

And what if Jason Giambi had grown a beard? They'd be planning the parade up Broadway for him as I write this.

BTW, in answer to the previous question I posed in this post about why they are gutting the second Yankee Stadium. (There were two, not one. Let's always remember that.) A very simple answer:

George needs luxury boxes.


Michael Leggett said...

Ahhhhhh, Two Toilets instead of One on the same site:

DFYankees might have run "Amish Beard Night", Presented by Edge Shaving Cream;

I wonder when Trojenz Presents "Derek Jeter Self Protection Night";

Or Atlantic Records Presents "Madonna 'Justify My Love of A-Rod' Night;;

Is Hank Crazy? Yankee Stadium a "Cathedral"? Does Pope Benedict XVI know about George "Cardinal" Steinbrenner?

Suldog said...

Yankees & Hair. That's why people hate Damon more than some others who left the team, you know. It's not just that he went to the Yankees, which is hideous enough, but that he sold his very soul to do so, cutting his hair off and shaving for a buck. He could have been a hairy god in Boston, into perpetuity, but he chose to take a quick shave and a quick buck and now his legacy is fairly much homeless.

The Omnipotent Q said...

Damon sold his soul to the Empire, and I hope he enjoys his cash. He could have been a legend forever in Boston. That simply won't happen now. I predicted on the day he left Boston that he will give an interview after he retires to the effect of: "The worst mistake I ever made was leaving Boston. Not signing with New York, leaving Boston."

Count on it.

Steel36 said...

Giambi's mustache looks like something out of a 70's porn movie.

I swore Jason was channeling John Holmes or "Boogie Nights."

Freddie Mercury maybe?

anyway, it looks TERRIBLE!!

The Omnipotent Q said...

It's not even a good "porn stache" either....

I find it so laughable the big deal the media idiots here in NYC are making of it.

I wonder what the 1970s Oakland A's championship teams think of all the hubbub...