Two Train Wrecks Are Better Than One

I thought I would take a break from the serious reporting of MLB, the Red Sox and Tuesday Night Trivia to comment on a few other things going on in the world.

Over the last couple of weeks, the tabloid news have been filled with two stories that they just can't seem to get enough of: the meltdown of Britney Spears and the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

First, Britney. Good Lord, the New York papers just can't enough of the Bald Pop Tart. The New York Daily News, yet again, had four pages on this so-called story. Like we're all hanging on every movement this poor girl does. I've never been a fan of hers. (Do you think people will be listening to Britney Spears songs 20 years from now?)

I love these papers that bring in psychologists to get their opinion on her problems. What she needs is real help, not some so-called expert opining on what her deep psychological problems are. Britney's a troubled woman, and clearly needs some kind of help. Her career and image has been in freefall for some time now, and the possibility that she could come to bad end some time soon is clearly out there. What Britney needs to do is to get away from the media for a long stretch (6 months to a year) to try to make sense of not just her career but much more importantly, her life. I can't believe that the head-shaving thing was a planned publicity stunt, as she's become the laughingstock of the world right now.

However, enough with all the tabloid frenzy going on now. It's sad and pathetic, and I don't need to see four-page layouts on Britney Spears' troubles every day. There still is a war going on in Iraq, right?

Britney certainly doesn't want to end up like...Anna Nicole Smith.

The Anna Nicole Smith affair is even worse. She's even more controversial in death than she was in life. And with her death, the sleaze comes out of the woodwork. That Howard K. Stern guy looks like he's trying to get every last dime from her estate. (A quick aside. Does he have two associates named Robin K. Quivers and Fred K. Norris?) He and 3,497 other guys claim to be the father of Anna Nicole's infant daughter, and that's the saddest part of the whole thing. Everyone of them wants that baby because she will be worth multi-millions someday. It's seedy and slimy.

Quick solution: have everyone of these so-called fathers appear on The Maury Povich Show and take a DNA test to determine who the daddy is. Hell, every time I change channels and see the Maury show on, he is opening an envelope determining the father of some single woman's child. So cut the crap, get the tests done, determine who Pop is, and move on.

Poor Anna Nicole Smith still hasn't been laid to rest (her mom and Howie K. are butting heads over that), and yet everyone seems to be fighting over her. She might finally got what she always wanted: the whole world talking about her.