Leave The Trades To The GMs

As many of you may know, I'm not the biggest fan of sporstwriters. I think too many of them have hidden agendas, and they come off at times sounding like frustrated, former wanna-be athletes.

But the ones I really don't like are the ones who come up with these really screwy ideas for trades. It's that time of the year again when the regular season is over, and the really goofy ideas come forward by so-called experts on how to improve the teams they cover. Granted everyone has an opinion on things like trades and are free to offer them, but the ones I see invented by sportswriters can at times leave me speechless.

Or sometimes laughing.

I heard that earlier this week, the sportswriter Red Sox fans love to hate, Dan Shaughnessy, was on a Boston TV station and floated the idea of the Sox trading Manny Ramirez to the Yankees for "the man known as Slappy," one Alex Rodriguez.

When I heard that Shaughnessy had suggested that this trade happen, my first thought was "Was he sober when he said it?"

Trust me loyal readers, a Manny-for-Slappy trade will never, ever happen.

You will never see Alex Rodriguez in a Red Sox uniform. It might make sense now in some ways because he would fit in at shortstop (as Alex Gonzalez is a free agent), and the Red Sox would actually save close to $4 million dollars by swapping those contracts. But what he did in the eighth inning of Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS will never be forgotten, or forgiven, by Red Sox fans. Or the fact that he went to the Evil Empire instead of the Red Sox in the winter of 2004 (even if it benefitted the Red Sox in the long run). A-Rod maybe one of the best players in baseball, but he'll never be embraced in Boston, and if you think he had his troubles with the New York fans, he will be brutalized in Boston.

And it makes even less sense for the Yankees to get Manny Ramirez. If they were to make this trade, exactly where would he play for the Yankees next season? They already have a full outfield (Matsui, Judas and Abreu) and are committed to all of them (none can or will be traded), and another good outfielder they don't have a place for (Melky Cabrera). Manny can't play first, and the Yankees already have a full-time DH they can't trade (Jason Giambi).

Plus, and most obviously, the Red Sox and Yankees will NOT make any kind of trade, no matter how mutually beneficial it might be. And they certainly won't pull off any kind of "blockbuster" deal of this magnitude. There are hard feelings on both sides. Manny and A-Rod may have different addresses next year, but if they both leave, it won't be either "Boston" or "New York." (Yankees, that is.)

It makes me wonder why Shaughnessy would waste people's time with such nonsense like this. As we all know, he loves to be the center of controversy, and I guess he'll say anything to get the fans attention.

Even if it is such ridiculous nonsense like this.

I also saw another really ridiculous trade idea involving Alex Rodriguez this week (courtesy of my friend Michael). A sportswriter named Tom Keegan, a real nitwit who used to write for the New York Post (I had almost no respect for him back when he was there), and is now writing for a newspaper in Lawrence, Kansas (talk about being exiled), looked deep into his mind and came up with a real beauty.

His idea is to send Rodriguez to Kansas City for 1B-DH Mike Sweeney, SS Angel Berroa and prospect 3B Alex Gordon.

I guess the Yankees would want to punish him and send him to baseball's version of Siberia with this deal.

Now that you've stopped laughing, I'll tell you why this will never happen. The Yankees have no need for another 1B-DH type, or a second-rate middle infielder. Sweeney is a good hitter, but is very injury-prone, and can't really play the field any more. Berroa had a good year at the plate a few years back, but has been unable to duplicate it, and is not a good fielding shortstop. Keegan seems to think that because the trade will balance in terms of money, it would be beneficial to both clubs.

Does this dimwit really believe the Yankees will deal A-Rod and get no stud pitcher back in return? Did Keegan even see the ALDS and see the reason the Yankees were knocked out early was because of their lousy starting pitching? And does he REALLY think A-Rod, who can veto any deal, would accept basically being run out of New York so he can play in virtual anonymity in Kansas City?

He thinks that Gordon is the type of player who will have a huge impact in the future. How many "can't-miss" prospects have "missed" in history? I've heard good things about Gordon, but he hasn't played one game in the majors yet (the Royals maybe set to bring him up in 2007). If he had two or three years in the majors (like the Mets' David Wright) and was making a big splash in Kansas City, then you can make the argument. But New York GM Brian Cashman would be burned in effigy by the Yankee fans if he ever considered this deal.

For your comedic enjoyment, here's a link to Keegan's article: http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2006/oct/11/keegan_rod_perfect_kc/?sports

When I see things like these trade "ideas," it makes me wonder what sportswriters like this are using for brains. But I guess some of them have deadlines to make, and will write almost anything.

Hey guys, leave the real trades to the general managers. They have a tough enough job, without backseat drivers like these "experts" staying up late-nights trying to do their jobs for them.