The two words in the title of this article are actually the dying words of John Wilkes Booth, right after he was shot by Federal troops in a Virginia barn on April 26, 1865. The words can now also apply now to the worst reliever in the Red Sox bullpen: Julian Tavarez.
I think we can officially state that Theo Epstein made a serious mistake signing this guy. Last night's performance was inexusable. Giving up a grand slam to Jason Kubel in the 12th inning, a guy who was just brought up a few weeks ago, just shows how thin the Red Sox bullpen is now. There are only two reliable men in the pen now: Jonathan Papelbon and Mike Timlin (Keith Foulke just went on the DL yesterday). Rudy Seanez and David Riske have been better lately, and Jermaine Van Buren and Manny Delcarmen don't have Terry Francona's confidence in such a big situation just yet. Now, Tavarez has probably lost Tito's confidence now, and he will probably be used more in garbage time now.
Theo signed him to a two-year deal, for $6.75 million this past winter. I was in Professor Thom's last night, and the whole bar groaned when he was shown warming up in the bullpen. One of my friends said, "I don't trust any Red Sox reliever who's last name ends with the letter z!" You KNEW disaster was on the horizon. He struck out the first hitter, then hit the next batter. I knew the game was lost when that happened. A double, and intentional walk and then Kubel's grand slam. I don't know if the Sox will eat his contract and DFA him (I seriously doubt it), but we'll see. More than one person said that if the Sox let him go, the Yankees would snap him up. (Don't they always do that these days with Red Sox players designated for assignment?)
I say to that: Good. Let him be their problem.
Tavarez spoiled what was a terrific performance by Curt Schilling, Papelbon and Timlin. You can't ask much more from them. Johan Santana was even better over eight innings, striking out 13. And at PT's last night, we once again did "Kayreoke," letting Red Sox fans call a half-inning of the action in the bar. My pal Matt and I did two innings, and it was once again so much fun. And New York Magazine did a feature story on the promotion and the bar, and we were interviewed. It comes out in a few weeks. They took some pictures of me in the old get-up again: cheesy shirt, wig and black glasses. We'll see if that makes it into the story.
Kayreoke is now planned for every Tuesday night. It's a blast, and even Julian Tavarez couldn't ruin what was a great night at PT.