Just Retire Already

The pathetic "dog and pony show" that is The Roger Clemens Retirement Tour took another turn when The Dayton Doughnut (thanks Adam) now says that he is now "80% certain" that he is leaning towards retiring and not coming back for the 2007 season.

I know I'm not alone in this assessment, but I wish this idiot would finally call it career and be done with it. Enough of this "maybe I will, maybe I won't" crap. Clemens has lied and alienated fans at all four of his Major League stops, and I'm beginning to think he won't retire until he no longer has a pulse.

Most of you know Clemens' "rap sheet" from Boston, Toronto, New York, and Houston, so I won't list it all here now. He maybe a first ballot Hall of Famer, but also a first-class liar and con artist, and if he told me the sun were coming up tomorrow, I'd get up at 4 AM just to see if it were true. (Remember after he won his 300th game in New York in 2003 he announced, "I'm 99.9% sure I'll retire after the season?" And now he's only "80% certain?" I don't like those odds.)

"The Carpetbagger" isn't one of my favorite baseball people (how can you tell?), but enough already. I REALLY hope he doesn't wind up back in Boston. He had his chance years ago to make amends to the fans of Boston, but obviously money means more to him than his legacy (see also: "Johnny Damon"), so that ship has sailed already.

If he was going to pitch again, he would be smart to stay in the National League, as it's much more a pitchers league, and the AL East is loaded with tough lineups. Clemens right now is no more than a six-inning pitcher who will be 45 in August. Even he comes back in June, who knows how much he'll have left.

Clemens has accomplished everything he possibly could in his baseball career, so why would he come back yet again? Only one reason: another huge payday. It was criminal the way he jerked the Astros around last year, but they fell for his BS and had to live with it.

I wish Clemens would end all these shenanigans and just call it a career already. Just do us all a favor and go away and enjoy your money. Or maybe he just likes to enjoy antagonizing both Boston and New York fans with all this spectulation?

Bastard.